Winning a point is only part of the game here at DeathWatch. We pride ourselves in reporting the news fast, and coming up with clever ways to pass the information over to you in our own, unique brand. Over the years, we've published some gems. Here, in random order, are some of our personal favorites. When we archive a gem, we insert it randomly into the list, so enjoy hunting!

No one puts Baby in the coroner
Patrick Swayze, actor

Newman's owned
Paul Newman, actor

Knotts Rots
Don Knotts, actor

Gilligone
Bob Denver, actor

Law and over
Jerry Orbach, actor

Croakback Mountain
Heath Ledger, actor

It's Howdy Deady Time
Buffalo Bob Smith, children's show host

The Eagle has leukemia
Alan Shepard, astronaut

Life gives Siskel thumbs-down
Gene Siskel, film critic

No time to make the doughnuts
Michael Vale, pitch man

Imogene Croaka
Imogene Coca, actress

Lethal Knieval
Evel Knieval, daredevil

Papa's got a brand new casket
James Brown, singer

Charlie's anal
Farrah Fawcett, actress

Where have you gone?
Joe DiMaggio, baseball star

Boner goes limp
Andrew Koenig, actor

Suddenly suicide
David Strickland, actor

Diff'rent dose
Dana Plato, actress

Les Paul unplugged
Les Paul, guitar pioneer

Como no-mo
Perry Como, singer

Wax on, kick off
Pat Morita, actor

And then there's morgue
Bea Arthur, actress

Ben-Hurt
Charlton Heston, actor

Rescusitation: Impossible
Peter Graves, actor

"I'm dead, Jim!"
DeForest Kelley, actor

InOperable
Luciano Pavarotti, tenor

'John-John' gone-gone
John F. Kennedy, Jr., entrepreneur

Respect the least of his problems
Rodney Dangerfield, comedian

Blazing Ovaries
Madeline Kahn, comedienne

Ernest Goes to the Graveyard
Jim Varney, actor

The rest-in-peace of the story
Paul Harvey, radio broadcaster

May the corpse be with you
Sir Alec Guinness, actor

Chief of Stiff
John Spencer, actor

Ronnie James D.O.A.
Ronnie James Dio, musician

I Wanna Be Creamated
Joey Ramone, singer, The Ramones

Talking 'bout my degeneration
John Entwhistle, bassist, The Who

Hung Fu
David Carradine, actor

Six feet Unger
Tony Randall, actor

She's a-movin' on up
Isabel Sanford, actress

CaDyver
Dana Elcar, actor on MacGyver

Heeeeere's emphesyma!
Johnny Carson, talk show host

The defense rests
Johnny Cochran, lawyer

The wrath of gone
Ricardo Montalban, actor