Posted December 7, 2011 2:29 p.m.
Horse hockey! Harry Morgan, best known as Colonel Sherman T. Potter on the TV show M*A*S*H, died after a bout with pneumonia. Jon Graney notified John Cowan. Morgan also played Officer Bill Gannon on Dragnet, and some other roles no one cares about. The good news is we scooped CNN again...but not RadarOnline.com. "RADAR!!!!!!" Morgan was 96.
(1 point)
OUT OF MINUTES
Posted November 8, 2011 8:43 a.m.
"Did you ever notice how cold the mortician's hands are? I hate that." Andy Rooney, long-time commentator on 60 Minutes, passed away from complications of surgery, Nov. 4. Jon Graney notified John Cowan. Rooney commented on pretty much everything from 1978 to his retirement in October 2011. I can't wait to hear what Andy Rooney has to say about this. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick...oh, wait. Aww. Rooney was 92.
(1 point)
COLD FRONT MOVES INTO HIS REGION
Posted October 14, 2011 8:09 a.m.
It's farewell to "Fair Weather" Charlie. Longtime Connecticut weatherman Charlie Bagley died Oct. 9. Jon Graney notified John Cowan. Former co-worker Hilton Kaderli reportedly cried a 'gullywhomper' of tears upon hearing the news. Good thing he has that Gutter Helmet from Collins & Company. Bagley reached a high of 82.
(1 point)
PROB'LY SHOULDA GONE TO REHAB
Posted July 24, 2011, 9:01 a.m.
...I say, yeah, yeah, yeah! Singer Amy Winehouse is headed to the big rehab in the sky, after dying of "unexplained" circumstances, July 23. Um, I think I can "explain" this one. Jon Graney notified John Cowan. The singer of the hit, "Rehab,"
had a long addiction to...pretty much everything they make. I wonder if her Daddy still thinks she's fine. Winehouse was 27.
(1 point)
CASE CLOSED
Posted June 27, 2011, 9:05 a.m.
"Oh, I just have one more question." Not this time, Lieutenant. Peter Falk, known best as Columbo from the TV show of the same name, died after a long battle with dementia and Alzheimer's disease. John Cowan notified Jon Graney. Oh, and dementia. And Alzheimer's disease. Falk was 83. Oh, and dementia.
(1 point)
Suuuuuuuuuuuicide Train
2.1.12 - You can bet your last money, he's all gonna be stone cold, honey. Don Cornelius, host of Soul Train, has apparently committed suicide. He was 75.
Welcome Back, Carcass
1.27.12 - Robert Hegyes, who played Juan Epstein on 'Welcome Back, Kotter,' has died at age 60. We decided to invoke the Burl Ives Rule on this one, so he's a Nil. What, are we going to hurt his no feelings?
At Blast
1.20.12 - Etta James, noted jazz singer, died of leukemia. James sang "At Last," and if you don't understand our headline, a) Wikipedia 'leukemia,' b) consult an oncologist, or c) ask Dennis Miller. James was 73.
Rottin' Apple
10.5.11 - Steve Jobs, visionary of Apple, died from complications of pancreatic cancer, proving that in an economy this bad, even Apple is losing Jobs.
A Corspe with No Name
7.26.11 - Dan Peek, co-founder of the band America and co-writer of the song "A Horse with No Name," died at age 60. Guess that horse ain't getting a name anytime soon.
E Flat
6.18.11 - Clarence Clemons, legendary saxophonist for Bruce Springsteen's E-Street Band, died of complications from a stroke. Everybody's got a Hungry Heart, except Clarence, that is. He was 69.
